Thoughts On Mustaches

This time around I've invited a co-founder of the BSS club, who is an expert on mustaches, to do a guest blog.  I hope you enjoy it!

Brenton

Perhaps before I begin this commentary on the stand alone, I should give you a little background information on me. I was raised in Bear Lake, Idaho, a little farming community in the southeast corner Idaho. As far as my exposure to the mustache is concerned, I have NEVER seen my father without a mustache in the 24 years I have graced this earth. Another thing I noticed growing up, was that men who appeared (at least in my mind) to be of importance, sported mustaches. For example, the mayor of Montpelier, my ecclesiastical leader (known as a bishop), the local mail carrier, and of course, the majority of farmers/ranchers. Now, some of you may be thinking I am a bit crazy. However, without the skills of farmers, where would we be? Farmers and ranchers give us fruits, vegetables, meats, etc. Without the power of the cookie duster, the results of many a farmer, would be far less significant. 

Because of these extreme influences that I had in my life, to me the mustache became a symbol of power and affluence in a society that was slowly rejecting its presence amongst the younger generation. Society had reduced the wearing of the lip tickler down to a couple of groups: Older men and child molesters. Looking at great men such as Tom Selleck, Burt Reynolds, Sam Elliot, and Dennis Eckersley, (just to name a few) I found it difficult to believe that they did NOT start their exploration with the stand alone at an earlier age. So, when I figured I could grow a decent stache, I decided it was also my turn to join their ranks. 

My first mustache was somewhat of a disaster. I only went for about a week and a half and was bombarded with heckling from co-workers, family, etc. I was overcome by the teasing and proceeded  to shave it off. However, after some encouragement from a cousin who was able to wear a mustache, I decided to try again. Now let’s make one thing clear: the first week or so of mustache growing is rough stuff. Unless your name is Tom Selleck or Charles Bronson, or you just have the facial hair growing capabilities of a walrus, let’s face it, people are going to peg you as “Chester the Molester” or some sort of other derogatory term. The thing you have to do is just bare down and let it grow. After about two weeks or so, most men start to look decent with a stache. 

It took me awhile to arrive at what I wanted to say, but my message to the readers out there is “judge not, lest ye be judged.” There are many reasons why a man might want to wear a mustache. The majority of the time, he will be able to grow a decent soup strainer and be proud to sport it. There are exceptions to every rule, and mustaches are no different. Some people should NOT grow one. However, they will never know unless they do try it. So, ladies, be gentle to the first time mustache grower. Try not to damage his hopes and dreams. And to the rest of your friends who are mustache growers, take it easy on them for the first couple weeks. All good things take time, and the mustache is no different. 

Sincerely,
Eric Kunz